happy new year?

We welcome the new year as happy, but do we remember that throughout the year? Have you ever noticed that the year that follows, all the virtues and beliefs that we have for it - the high hopes and the aspirations, all kind of go out the window? How many people say "Happy New Year" and "Have a safe and happy New Year"? Do we?

Have you ever noticed like I did just the other day, that because it's a new year, it doesn't change anything that's already in play? Kinda sucky, isn't it? Huh? Well, I got like 2 sms's when it turned 12, and I'm still waiting on any more that would like to rear their ugly heads!

But back on a notion of where I was trying to go, we seem to forget that we do get all hyped up about the idea of a new year, and a fresh start, but nothing much really goes into motion that wasn't already there. I have yet to see, in all my 20-something years of living, that anybody really forget all old problems from the past year, start everything new/fresh, make the new year that they envelope themselves in so true to what they commend to everyone else - I don't!

Here's an SMS I received from one of my brothers;

Before da clock hits 12 ffor the last of this year, b 4 da memories fade and b 4 da networks get jammed! -- Wishin you a Very Happy and Prosperous new 2006 yeaar. . . Marko !!!

Lovely isn't it? At least I know that Marko actually means this SMS when he sends it, and I wouldn't be surprised if he took an original SMS and modified it to be the one that you read or he has made this himself and sent it to a couple of people. Either way it was completely nice.

To be honest, I don't like the syled quote of "Happy New Year", unless you're going to mean it, how many people out there actually mean what they say when they say it? Did any of you think about what you're saying before you did, and can you stick by it?

Everyone, try to remember what you said at the beginning of this year - stick by it! You'll surely enjoy yourself!

not 2 sides, but 3

It wasn't until today, did I realise that there aren't just 2 sides to any story, as the common saying goes There's two sides to every story, but I found there to be more. Has anyone considered the finding of 3 sides to every story? There's the [a], the [b], and let's not forget the [truth]! The most important part to any story.

I've found that what we should do in life is a fine tuning of the following; believe half of what you see, quarter of what you hear, eighth of what you read - this way you will be free to make a decorous decision or begin to achieve a conception of how things really are. I'm like everyone else - I see the world in terms of what I would like to see happen, not what actually does.

A friend of your's becomes involved in an arguement with someone, but you're not there to see it, you only hear about it. Willingly, you listen to what you friend says, you sympathsis with them, you offer them advice, but most importantly, you believe it. Then the other person comes along your way - let's say you're also their friend, but not as strongly. Of course, you offer a weeping shoulder to them, and same crap, different story. Now what? You've managed to aquire yourself two stories, part conflicting, part adhering - who do you believe?

You know you want to believe the friend that you serve closely and loyally, but don't want to listen any jargon they might spin and go about living on and believing a lie. What do you do? Remember how I said not to forget that other party? [truth], this will be able to tell you exactly what happened, fill in the missing gaps, and also confer the parts from [a] and [b] to match equally. From this, we are able to derive what the real McCoy is in this daring story between your two friends.

That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality is what you want to hear, and should only hear. This magical property is such a simple thing, but in the day-and-age that we live in; nothing is simple. Nothing is easy. Everything is complicated. To find [truth], I would suggest that any source that is not inundated with any affiliation with any of the [a] or [b] of the original situation. From this, the pieces that make up the first two will come together and we'd have our resolution. The only problem is, that [truth], to be present, not affiliated and not signed over in any way, shape or form to the [a] or [a] is rather a difficult task to find, but when you do, you can complete the story.

Like I tried to explain, and a little clarification, we see the world how we want, not for what it really is, this is because we have our own version, they have theirs, and then there is the truth in every story to how it really happened.

i lost a blog

  Thanks to my stupid DSL cable comming loose, I just lost the blog that I was about to post, most annoyed!

the Narcissus in some of us

Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. AAt the spot where he fell, a flower was born. The goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

    "Why do you weep?" a goddess asked.
    "I weep for Narcissus," the lake replied.
    "Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus," they replied, "for we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."
    "But...was Narcissus beautiful?" the lake asked.
    "Who better than you to know that?" the goddessses said in wonder.
    "After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!" the goddesses claimed.

The lake was silent for some time. Finally it said:  "I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep becuase, each time he knelt beside my banks, i could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."

Explanation:  Nice story, 'eh? Not easy to actually explain what it means unless you can find some people and bring them to me, let me deal with them for a little while, and then I can relate each of them and how they interact as in this story relatively to each other.

Narcissus is the most clean and beautiful of souls that exist (that I am aware of). There's not many of these people around, but luckily I've managed to come across a few of these in my life. When we look into the eyes of these far and few people, we fall into a sense of calmness, that drags on without an effect from time. Sheets of deep emotional ties bring us close to these people, even when we hardly know them. And through them, with their soul, we are able to see not only how beautiful they are, also how far significant we are to ourselves.

When you come across these kinds of people, it's important to not only respect them, but understand them. Don't crowd them, or they can't breathe. Admire them, but don't love them. Enjoy them, but don't hog them.

...but do you want it?

You know the hardest thing that is to learn, is to realise that the things we aim to achieve the most, aren't that great once we've actually gotten them! I've got a letter on my desk facing me while I type this out. It's a letter to Zane. I don't know why I wrote it, but I did, and it felt so good writing it, because everything in there came from my heart and it was mean't at the time and still mean everything in there. But once I gave him that letter, I felt strange like I'd done something completely wrong maybe?

Ok, here's a better example. You're with someone for like 3 years, and you get bored with that person, not in a bad sense, but because when you see someone every day of your life, you become accustomed to that person in the way they are and start to find faults with them and want them to change. But because they don't want any problems, say they change. This is just a crap example, and if you've got a brain, you'd understand. Then they change. You get the change you want. Yep? Wanted it? Cool! Got it! Now what?! You've got the change that you wanted, and you're suddenly not happy with what you've got, so you think about how it used to be, and even though you didn't like that, it was the way you were accustomed to. So I ask you again...but do you want it?

skype it out!

How far does technology go, before it can further go no more? I've really wondered this, and only recently did I come across this new protocol the other day called "sms". Seems simple, we all know what it means and is used for, but as a protocol, it was like this - sms://19101

Well, this one tops off the list, it's something called Skype, and I think it's a wonderful idea, and it's in the process of being downloaded right now in the background for my Mac!

How simple will it be now for people anywhere in the world to have live conversations with each other? I think this technology would come excellent in hand with my cousins and my dad, as they're always on the phone to each other around the world, and because my dad is living in Australia, that instantly makes him rich, a common misconception European people have of America and Australia. Hence all calls are collect to him, and all calls he makes he pays for.

I need to introduce this to him so that he can make voice calls to all of them, and not have to pay anything on top of his normal DSL fees that my youngest brother consumes every month in pr0n, MP3z and progs that he really doesn't need. It's about time my dad got some use of the computer instead of assuming it's the devil all the time.

Could you image the amount of phone sex people would be able to have if they ever discovered this technology with each other after meeting in chat rooms, and they'd only need their "Skype" address to be handed out, and it's completely safe and easy, yet they're getting your phone number in a sense? All those dirty bitch conversations that people are having right out right now while touching their pussy's and their ass's and their cocks! Completely disgusting but it does turn you on when you think about it! I can't wait to get my Skype address out there for everyone to start calling me and telling me dirty bitch conversations about my man pussy and my oozing dirty cock! It's such sexual thing! I'd be flashing my Skype address like my gash across the net!

Why bother to call your partner overseas or interstate or streets away to have a spew about something, when you can Skype it out with each other now? Possibilities are limitless! Can you image things that would be said over that! She's there! In your bed, I know it! You're a slut! She's there and I'm going to come there and you're going to fuck her first, and I'm going to watch, then you're going to fuck me second, then I'm going to fuck you with my dildo third! HOT!

hearing it and not knowing it

Ever realised that when you want something really badly, you just go and go and go for it, but once you've actually got it, you finally find no satisfaction having it, and wonder to yourself if that was what you really wanted to begin with? Sometimes it's not a matter of having something, but mainly hearing something.

When we want something and it's a listening thing, like "I want to hear you say 'I Love You' when you talk to me next" we can hear it, but it kinda goes in one ear and out the other. We don't know necessarily that we wanted it to begin with, not because we didn't hear it, or wanted it, it was something that we wanted and didn't know it.

This happened to me today. I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone, and he sounded kinda down. I said to him to get off the phone with me, and go back to his family who was behind him, and he said to me that he didn't want to get off the phone because I was on it to him.

It was such a lovely thing to hear, but it took me over until the afternoon to work out what was said to me exactly, what it mean't, how appropriate it was in relation to what my deep desires really are. This is what I want from this guy, I want that stable friendship-livin-relationship; he's so {strangely} perfect, which leaves me in complete desire for him to be part of the fulfilment of my life and I am unable to understand where this desire originates from.

We all have these desires, some are real, some are not, I'll just go with it and see where it takes me in this journey.